I have some good news for you today, my friend.
You’re really going to like this.
Have you ever heard of The Pratfall Effect?
Today’s society is all about go go go. We are working our butts off to achieve our highest goals and ambitions and running to keep up with what society tells us is enough. We measure our success based on all sorts of external factors.
Job status, grades in school, car, house, accomplishments, etc.
Most of us set a pretty high standard for ourselves and we like to always appear like we are on top of our game. On social media we tend to create an image of ourselves that is happy, successful, adventurous… whatever we feel is the “perfect” version of us.
What we don’t talk about so much is our mistakes; those moments where we trip over our own feet, so to speak. We’d rather keep these moments out of sight of our peers.
But would exposing these simple trip-ups really hurt our image in the eyes of our friends?
According to the Pratfall Effect, maybe not.
The Pratfall Effect is this theory that was created by a psychologist named Elliot Aronson. The basic concept is that competent people actually become more attractive when they make a mistake here and there compared to if they are always appearing perfect.
Aronson actually did a test where he had participants listen to different people taking a quiz; one of the quiz takers could be heard knocking over a cup of coffee. When asked to rate the likeability of each quiz-taker, the coffee-spiller came out on top!
Would you like me more if I started spilling my green juice on film? 😉
So why would making mistakes make someone appear MORE attractive? Here’s what I think…
Perfect people put off an air of invincibility. This easily makes others feel small and inadequate, like they don’t measure up. When you are around people who seem to be perfect you are more likely to feel uncomfortable and uptight.
Let’s be real here… being “human” is endearing! Your significant other doesn’t know something or makes an adorable fopa and you love them even more, right?
If you own up to having made mistakes, instead of covering them up, people tend to like you more. It displays honesty, integrity and confidence in oneself. People like that.
If I was to get on camera and pretend that I’ve been successful, fit, healthy and happy my whole life, you probably wouldn’t like me much.
Instead, I am ready and willing to share my stories of ups and downs, mistakes and mishaps. To be vulnerable. Because like you, I am human and I am by no means perfect.
Now the purpose of this video/post isn’t for you to go off and purposefully make mistakes. Being incompetent isn’t exactly the best character trait either.
The purpose is to help you realize that IT’S OKAY THAT YOU AREN’T PERFECT. You can take a deep breath, relax and move forward with confidence in being exactly who you want to be – who you already are.
Besides, “perfection” is unstable. What is perfect or what isn’t is based purely on opinion or societal norms. It could change in an instant! It is based off of ideas in everyone’s heads. Is that really something you want to be living up to all the time?
Better to just be in tune with your true self or, as I heard once, “hungry for the truth of your own existence.” Love that.
Here Are 3 Steps To Help You Let Go Of The Need To Be Perfect…
#1 Let go of all expectations and simply learn to be.
You were born to be real! You were born to be you. Nothing makes people more depressed than expectations that are not in alignment with someone’s real, true self.
#2 Spend less time comparing yourself to others and more time LOVING them.
If it takes deleting facebook off your phone, so be it. Whenever you notice yourself comparing yourself to someone else’s life, do something to love them instead.
Write them a kind note. Thank them for something. Or just fill your heart with love and send it to them. Losing the habit of constantly comparing yourself to everyone will bring you more happiness than you can possibly imagine.
#3 Surround yourself with people who aren’t obsessed with perfection but rather are focused on enlightenment, love and embracing who they truly are.
We become the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.
So… embrace your mistakes. Be who you are. Realize that your imperfections make you more relatable (and more likable) to those around you.
Always remember, we’re in this together!
By Drew Canole
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